Today has felt like fuck jennifer day. I dont know if im just overreacting, or i see things that really aren't happening, or what. I get so tired of being nice and sweet when i get shit on. If i speak my mind, then im a bitch. I have always tried to please everyone around me. always. i've put myself last so many times, even when i know i shouldn't, even when i know im being screwed. even when i know better. I just cant say no. When will i matter? When will i be good enough to be first? I've been in tears a few times today for various reasons. I've been hurt so much that i was crying in public and my 5 year old had to ask me if i was crying again. Who does that? I just want to scream and cry and beat on the wall until i break.
Maybe im just having a pity jennifer day.
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